Insecurity: We are not alone

I came to this blog post to present one thought I had when I was an adolescent: “I felt insecure”. When I reached adulthood, I understood I wasn’t the only one feeling that way. This is the essence of this post but as I started typing the title I thought: “What is the value of this?”

So, I started my research on the subject. This is also about learning. And I want to learn too on this journey.

My first step was googling about insecurity in adolescence and other ideas came to mind like, why are we so egocentric in adolescence. Why do we think we are the only people affected by those feelings and thus feel so alone and inadequate?

While surfing these subjects I stumbled upon a concept coined by a psychologist named David Elking called Personal Fable.

Who better than Wikipedia to shed some light on this?

Thus, an adolescent is likely to think that everyone else (the imaginary audience) is just as concerned with them as they are; while at the same time, this adolescent might believe that they are the only person who can possibly experience whatever feelings they might be experiencing at that particular time and that these experiences are unique to them.

There you have it, then. I am not the only one that thinks that in our adolescence we think we are so unique we are the only ones that feel a certain way. In my case, I thought I was the only one that felt lost, anxious, inadequate. Like a failure because I didn’t have a boyfriend at the same time as the rest. Or a failure because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, unlike the rest.

And the fact is after I became an adult when one should abandon this false idea, I still felt I was lost, and that the rest of humanity probably, wasn’t. Lost in the sense of: what should I do with my life or, what am I doing? I thought people like my parents or colleagues or bosses, who were older and had more experience than me, didn’t feel that way.

And I don’t know about you but I’m not the kind of person that opens their heart easily to other people. I am the kind of person that receives with open arms those who do, though. And it wasn’t until I started listening to other people’s heart-to-heart confessions that I realised. We are all lost.

None of us knows what is doing. Because life is uncertainty. And it’s inherent in human nature to try and control it. We try and control the uncontrollable and that is what frustrates us. We go through life, all of us, just trying our best to be happy. Following, each of us, what we think is the best way to happiness. While the truth is, we are not certain. And the truth is, there is not only one way, or a way that works for everyone.

But what I know is, if you feel lost, like you have no idea what you are doing in life, let me tell you again: You are not alone. You are not the only one.

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